It begins again..

I spent last night down the lake watching my kids frolic and play.  Last night I fell asleep with them all next to me in my bed.  Memories of over a year ago flood back into my head. ...even down to the baby bunnies outside.  I leave tomorrow.  For two weeks.  Some things are different, for better and worse.  1., My kids are older (better), 2. The bunnies at least have a mom and aren't dependent on me too(better), 3. I know I'm leaving (worse).  The list goes on...  I've waited over a year.  I knew this was coming. I've been looking forward to it.  I DO NOT WANT TO GO.  (If you feel lost reading this, you will have to go back to the beginning and read my initial blogs of leading up to my diagnosis).
I check into ECAD tomorrow evening.  I have signed a booklet full of legal and confidentiality forms.  I will find out more about what I am and am not allowed to FB, Blog, Text, etc..  upon orientation.  However, they were pretty strict in saying "what happens there stays there".  It has to do with confidentiality of the others in my Team Training class too.  So, I will keep everyone up to speed as much as I am possibly allowed.  I am off to spend 15 days in a dorm style setting (with a room mate) and 10 people in the dorm.  We will share one kitchen and one bathroom.  We have strict rules regarding the facility we are staying at and are allowed very minimal visits, as that is OUR time to bond with our dog.  We will live at the facility and report in for class every day from 8am to 4pm.  On the second week, all our days are spent traveling and working in public...I've already probably said to much.  Anyway
I know I have a ton of support, I have a ton of people that love me and care about me and help me and....  but I AM in this alone.  Everyone, when it comes down to it, fights their battles alone.  Although, I have had someone with me most of the time since this disease hit, I now go off ALONE for this chapter.  There will be no family or friends or nurses to help me and look after me.  I will not know anyone.  I will not know my surroundings.  I do not know how this will change me.  Will it make me a different person?  Will it change my view on the world?  On my life? Husband? Children?  I know my life will change, but to what degree, how much of an impact this will have..  I have no idea.

I graduate on August 6th.  I suppose we will all find out then.