Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Chipmunk

So I sit down for breakfast with the kids... because although I always want to sleep in badly, I drag my body downstairs with the first one awake and wait for the pitter patter of the others.  Im sitting at the breakfast table with my 3 1/2yr old son, expecting the usual conversation of cereal bowl color and episodes of "jake and the neverland pirates"! Etc...and  he says "mom, when you get your dog im going to run out to the backyard and..." I interupt "im going to race you out to my dog and im going to beat the pants off you".  He arches back in his seat, has the smile of a chipmunk with its cheeks full of acorns, he snorts like a pig and starts laughing carefree and crazy.  In between giggles and snorts he says " no mom im gonna beat your pants off".  Its one of those times I want to cry my eyes out but im too busy laughing.
Do you jog or run with your kids? I cant.  Play tag in the backyard? I cant.  Race them to the bus stop maybe? I cant.  I dont have the balance to run.  Do you know how restricting that is when you have 3 young kids? I have not run since May 15 of 2013.  I remember the day.  It was perfect (if only I knew HOW perfect). I chased them all over the lawn of the newport mansions.  we played like kids, as every parent and kid should do once in a while.  I  know its been years and years for some people, but i LOOK fine.  I should be fully capable.  Theres absolutely no reason why I shouldnt be able to do this simple thing. Anyway, I will soon be able to do that again...with the help of a dog.  I got an email from East Coast Assistance Dogs the other day.  Theres less than 30 days until my Team Training.  I will graduate on August 6 and (hopefully) come home with my assistance dog.  Life will become "normal" again.
Although im getting used to my "new normal" , I dont think my family is yet.  I think...think... most of the time im capable and confident and sane.  However, sometimes I just cant get out of bed.  Ya know when you just feel like you cant get out of bed? Thats me, except I CANT.  I looked at the calendar last week and said to my mom "didnt we have plans last Tuesday? What happened to that"? She replied that it was "my day off" (the day i couldnt make it farther than the couch). There are other days that I scream and yell because no one does their share and I cant do everything for everyone and nothing I do is good enough and.. and.. and...  We still have some adjusting to do.
So speaking of adjusting, my doctor put me on a new anti seizure medication to try and control my headaches.  He believes its my nerves mis-firing and this medication will prevent that.  So I take it.. the beginner, baby dose.  Ugh..  (my advice, never plan to go out when taking a new medication for the first time).  Long story a bit shorter.. I remember only parts of the evening and the parts I remember were begging my husband not to call the ambulance,  dry heaving for what seamed like hours and everywhere I went spinning.  I snapped back into reality early morning and.. panicking.. asked al where my car was and if the kids ate dinner and if they were in their beds and such.  I didnt have anyone in the car and would never have insisted on driving but I was so sick and dizzy I could not even function.  Big lesson learned.  So, needless to say, im looking for some alternatives.
That about sums it up for now.  Not much new info, but keeping everyone up to date.  I plan to walk you all though dog training (as best as im legally allowed).  So, stay tuned.