7. Missing chapter

My goal of this blog was to keep everyone close to me by sharing my experiences, my progress, outpouring of community support, but I am at a point where I feeling need to jump ahead in order to keep my close friends and family current and what's going on now. there is so much that I want to add I feel like there's a hole in the blog that will have to be filled with flashbacks maybe a chapter in the book, but before I move on...

There was one sleepless night few weeks ago, and remember I don't sleep, ( my husband says I use that time to solve all the worlds problems).I asked my husband to make sure he told this story to my kids: if something were to happen to me I want my kids to know that I never slept. It was gods way of training me. Training me to be their angel so that when they lay down to sleep I would be there all night watching them, looking after them, solving their worlds problems and looking after their babies so they could sleep comfortably and close their eyes knowing that I was there I would take care of them. Those are the kind of things I took comfort in.
Over the next few weeks I just kept finding more and more positives and  ripple effects from the situation I was in. I had a friend from church give me a point of view I hadn't even considered.
She said, what if the reason I was  "taken out" of the picture had nothing to do with me?  What if it was a bond Al needed to form with his children? And I would not be "reinstated" until the bond was complete"?   Wow! Great, now every time I get a new symptom, or are flat on my back for a day, Im saying "God Damn Al, hurry up"!  Im sitting here in a disabled state waiting on a man to learn a lesson?  Terrific. ?.
My thoughts have transformed I to more of an urgency to get better.
Here I am , again, put in this lucky spot and given this opportunity that most people aren't.   I have been given a second take on life.  Ive been given the chance to look around inside myself, to see who my friends really are, to see who is there for me in times of need, to look at who I am  and who I want to be, how I want to raise my children, etc.. I have been given this chance and I will come out of this a better and stronger person because of it!