I am not the person I used to be

I get feedback and concern from the realism of my blogs. People think I'm not in a good place, obviously people that do not have an incurable illness.  Nonetheless, here's to them:

I am not one to brag.  I believe in being humble and simple and down to earth.  That being said:
I pride myself on taking care of my house and 3 children.
In a mere 13 weeks my husband and I will be approved foster/adoptive parents.
I am a Beekeeper
I, obviously, am an avid blogger and strive to help people by it's posts
I am the local elementary school PTO President.
I am The Goshen Farmers Market Treasurer and Marketing Director.
I am a member and on the House Committee of Torrington Country Club.
I am a Volunteer/Representative for ECAD (Educated Canines Assisting with Disabilities)
I, and my family, are Home Handlers for ECAD and take Service Dogs in Training home on the
   weekends.
I make Goat Milk Soaps and All Natural Body Products
I help local friends establish their marketing techniques and websites.
I have 2 dogs, more rabbits than I can count, a goat, a lovely tank full of tropical fish and HAD (as of
    a month ago, a horse).
I am a flying enthusiast, whenever money allows.
I am an artist, whenever time allows
I am a member of the local Congregational Church (though I would like to attend more than I do).
I am a wine enthusiast and hold an advanced degree (with Merit) from the Wine and Spirits        Education Trust.
I have a passion for preparing and cooking exquisite meals for family and friends.
I love to garden and get my hands dirty and watch things grow.
I could go on... and on... and on..


One of my family members came to see me the other day and told me that "people at her work talk about you"...I roll my eyes...  "They are worried about you,  they say  you do too much".  Uhh Huhhh.  You know when you don't continue to work on a skill, you lose the ability to do it well.  If it wasn't for the hours and hours I spent writing and re-writing the same thing, page after page, in my journal while in the hospital and after I got home, I know I would still not be able to write. So, I do stuff.  Everything.  Part of it might be fear, yes.  If I let my brain take a break I feel there is a chance something, some lesion or something, could sneak in and get it...to slow me down.  Some people watch TV (movies here and or a mini-series), some people take naps, are avid readers, sit down for a drink with friends (I do this occasionally), have a long commute, etc...  I simply take all that "static time" and fill it with other things.

I do all of this, not at all like I once used to.  I also don't react to things or people like I once used to. Then again, I am not the same person I used to be... far from it.