Last week we took our kids on yet another family adventure. I cant do the things I used to: Like bike or hike, or run, or ride my horse. So, we just re-direct our fun. My new "cause"(like I need a new one) is raising money for and representing ECAD wherever I can. So, we took a trip down to Dobbs Ferry New York to meet with ECAD. I had anxiety about how Crane would behave being back at her old stomping grounds for the first time since she got placed with me. She was an angel. After ECAD we, of course, had to stop by LEGO LAND. The kids LOVE it there. If you have kids and have never been, its definitely worth the trip. Crane likes it too. She even goes on the Disney style ride where you shoot at the monsters and save the princess. I even think she enjoys the 4D movie more so than I. She loves when it rains or snows in the movie...she tries to catch the drops as they fall in the theatre. Like Ive stated in the past, I can no longer see 3D. So, instead of being discouraged, I was able to sit there for show after show and watch the amazement on my kids (and dogs) faces. I would say its better than actually watching the movie.
My husband had a wake/funeral in Old Saybrook. that night and the next day. So, I opted to sneak in some family time and reserve a room in Essex so Al wouldn't have to travel as far and we could be together as a family. Ends up, after sitting in traffic for hours, having car trouble, fighting rush hour, stopping for food and bathrooms etc... We missed our appointment to drive my new dream car, which happens to be in Fairfield and is the only one in CT. We also missed the wake:(.
To the kids surprise, I had researched hotels and, though expensive, made a reservation The Griswold Inn in the center of Essex.
They had a 2 story, free standing, Family Cottage in a little brick courtyard right off the main St and across from the main Inn.
Being very late, pitch dark, super windy and rainy there was nothing to do but stay in the cottage. My kids LOVE hotels. We spent hours playing. They pretended the claw foot was a pirate ship, had a "fruit loop piñata", played firehouse and with glow sticks, etc.. The most fun, though, was when it was finally time for bed. Of course they were all revved up from sitting in the car and excitement of the surprise trip. So, I snuggled up with them on window seat, turned off all the lights, rolled up the curtains so we could look out onto the quiet main street of Essex and, we told stories. We told stories for hours, until past midnight. We talked about the storm and how light travels faster than sound and about the old days when the street would be filled with horse and carriages. It was thunder and lightening and so so windy. They finally said they were tired and wanted to go up to bed. When we woke up and looked out the windows, they found out that in our little courtyard was a Christmas shop and a Candy shop. We spent the day in town walking around, seeing the boats, shopping and riding the steam train.
There hasn't been a day that has gone by since that the little ones don't mention the trip an ask when we can go back and its not for the train or the candy shop or the toy store. They had the most amazing time on that window bench, up til midnight, hearing stories and laughing and talking. THAT is what it is all about. THAT is where memories come from, the ones that stick. THAT is what is important. That is also very promising for me because no matter how bad my symptoms get, I will probably always be able to do things like that with my kids.
It also makes up for other times that aren't so great. We went out last night for what I thought was going to be a great time. The kids were settled with my mom and dad, we weren't going far, we knew friends there, it was going to be perfect...maybe expectations were too high. Anyway, the music was too too loud. So loud, Crane couldn't handle it (first thing she has not been able to handle). Dogs hearing is almost 4 times greater than humans and can register 35,000 vibrations per second. (http://www.k9puppydogs.com/html/the_sense_of_hearing_of_dogs.htm). So, for the first time ever,...I had to put her in the car. Bad set up now. So, its dark inside, the music is super loud, there are strobe type lights, I don't have crane to guide or balance me. We have friends keep approaching on our right to try and talk (firstly I cant see them, second I cant hear them). I wanted to eat, but would never be able to maneuver through the tables to the food. I wanted a drink but same thing. I wanted to do like crane did and try to bolt. All I could see was the door. So, I made a bee line. Almost out, I found the coat closet and took refuge there. Hoping no one would come by and draw attention to me, I figured I could just shake it off. After about 30 minutes, a woman rounded the corner. Great!!! ....She says "Are you OK?"...."Yeah yeah Im fine..." She replies "Well, Im not. Do you mind if I join you for a few minutes. I just need to escape for a bit". We exchanged smiles. She told me of her diagnosis of Parkinsons and acknowledged my diagnosis of MS. There we sat, in the coat closet of a Country Club, talking. Best conversation I had all night. Ends up she worked in the same job, for 20 years, that my mother in law worked at prior to her. Crazy. The band took a break and we finally collected ourselves and went back in. I tried, but that same sense of ...overwhelmment(???) hit me. I still didn't have my dog, still couldn't get comfortably to the food or bar without the fear I might make a fool of myself. So, this time, instead of the coat closet I jus called it a night. Its something that probably no one else in the room noticed, or was even concerned enough to pay any attention to know something was wrong. But to me, my world was upside down.
All I can do in times like that, when I get home and try to sleep, instead of rehashing the night, is think about my night in Essex with the kids and how wonderful it was. I cant stress enough, not to compartmentalize, not to forget the bad, but appreciate like crazy all the little tiny good things.
On a more positive note, ive mentioned before that I am on a mission to educate people about service dogs, the disabled, people with invisible illnesses and how to respect and help and understand them. Well, Ive been taking Crane to school these past few weeks. I started with just letting her be a dog (vest off).
I introduced her to the kids and then put her vest on and told them and showed them some things that she does for me. Some of the kids still call them "tricks", when she retrieves a water bottle, or cleans up all the legos and puts them in a basket, opens the door, gets my shoes, etc... but I try to reinforce that they aren't "tricks" its her JOB. I explained to them why I have her. Its about a month since I brought her for her official introduction. She is now like a rock star! Seriously! Everywhere I go (even trick or treating through the pitch black neighborhood
, I hear "Cranneeee Crannneee....Its Crane"! In school, I can now walk through the halls with her vest on and the children know she is working and although its hard for them to resist a pet or a kiss, they know I will eventually take her vest off and let her say hi. We have had a few "parent involved events" and it is their first time interacting the Crane as well. At first they are in shock to see a dog in school. Then they are more at shock when their children are happier to see crane them then. At last, you see in their eyes when they realize this is the dog the kids go home talking about all the time. I can hear them say to their parents "you cant touch her. See? Her vest is on. She is working". and I realize...Im doing it....Im educating a community. Crane and I are teaching these kids something that will last forever as they go out into the world. Something that they can teach to others. Crane also teaches me things about her on these trips to school. As her hearing is so much better than ours, she can hear an upset child from about 4 classrooms away. I feel like each time I go to school, something brought me there that day because there is at least one child we help every time (She has stopped children from crying, helped children wait patiently, helped children get to class without their mom, helped someone get over their huge fear of dogs, ....I could go on). Then again, when you have 156 kids in one place, I guess odds are you will ALWAYS have upset ones. I know I do at home and I only have 3. :) She has amazed everyone she encounters with her compassion, among other skills.
Again. I am blessed. Theres just no other way to put it. I was talking to someone the other night and they said "there are things people just don't get until they are humbled". I get it!
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