Winding down

    I stood up to say a few words, in a crowded room full of my friends and "support network" at my fundraiser.  I didn't have a speech planned, but seamlessly rattled my way through a brief history of my illness and reassured guests why they were there.  It wasn't like a wedding, where some friends or side of the family may have something against you.  Or, like a meeting or awards ceremony were people might think you're not doing a good job, or worthy of the award.  Everyone in that room supported me, thought highly of me, was "on my side".  They were there because they wanted to be, for my "cause".  So, how could I feel completely alone?  I guess anyone with an illness or disease feels the same.  Or, even anyone "in touch" with themselves.  No one knows what is inside your head, what you feel, what struggles you go through mentally and physically.
  The fundraiser went great.  The best part, I organized it  I planned every detail, printed every ticket, posted every post, recruited all the marketing, etc... I did have some help with the Silent Auction.  Thank goodness, because it was much more expansive than I predicted.  However, I can still do it!  It was a great night.  Seamless.  Just what I imagined it would be.  Actually, I plan on doing the same thing every year  to raise money for someone else that has MS and is in need of an assistance dog.
   I spoke with ECAD on Tuesday and they told me I was at the top of their list.  I have raised just about all the money they require.  So, as soon as I complete that goal, they find me an appropriate dog or they schedule a team training, they will call.  They told me that they have a long list of clients, but since I am the closest to raising the money first, I would be put on the top of the list.  This made me excited and sad at the same time.  Is there someone out there that needs a dog more than me?  Most likely.  So, am I taking there dog?  It leaves me with some internal struggling.
   I am fortunate, however, that I even was able to attend my own fundraiser.  Beginning early last week I started not to feel well and dreaded another upcoming attack.  Even up until Sunday afternoon I wasn't great.  Luckily I made it and hopefully was just stress kicking in.
  So, what now?  Just back to my stay-at-home mom life I suppose.  I make home made goats milk soap and sell them at our local Winter Farmer's Market, I will carry on as being President of our elementary school's PTO.  I am also trying to work on my web site, www.mybeautifullifewithms.com, where I hope to provide more of a resource for people effected by MS.  I will be custom designing some MS merchandise to sell there as well.  I hope to save up and get my TBird painted before I tuck it away for winter.  I won my first car show trophy with it this past Saturday.  Makes me so proud to drive my grand dads car.

What else?  Only time will tell.