Taking life by storm

I feel like, besides having MS and all, that I am back to Blog #1. I am not only surviving, but I am taking life by storm and even more so now. Every detail and experience seems richer, has more meaning. Almost annoyingly so. I almost wish everyone went through this experience so that they could have the same outlook. So that they could see what and who is most important. So they could live their lives in the moment and really pay attention to what matters most. In a perfect world, I guess.
So, last week alone I did more than most people get to do in a lifetime. I went to visit the farm with my family. It was one of those gorgeous fall days. My horse was grazing peacefully and I just couldn't resist. I grabbed her halter and lead, pulled her over to a nearby rock and hopped up on her back. It has been so long. I have owned her since she was a year old, 1988. To be on her back was so familiar. Her smell was so familiar. It was wonderful, like coming back home after being away for so long. Like being whole. Nothing felt wrong with me while I was up there. I will never be at the point where I can compete again, but I don't have to. This was enough!

I also took to the skies again, thanks to a dear friend.  Flying is in my blood.  It is part of my DNA.  My Granddad was Navy Air and Dad was Air Force.  Every man in my family had his private pilot's license.  My uncle used to restore float planes in Juno, Alaska.  I have fond memories of flying with my dad when I was young and with friends as I grew up.  All the vacations my husband and I took were flying related.  Like going to see the Blue Angels or the Red Bull Air Races.  AJ is doomed when he gets older as he probably cannot distinguish between womb sounds and that of a jet engine. And Amelia, she LOVED her first flight!  Anyway, I began flying again this week.  I was a bit hesitant, but strangely more at ease and free than I have ever felt up there...great...now that I don't have a prayer of getting my license.  If my vision miraculously comes fully back, my license will be my first mission.

Al and I celebrated our 4th Anniversary.  I cannot believe how much we accomplished in 4 years.  Good thing we were slowed down this year, who knows where we would be.  We went out to dinner to celebrate....without the kids.  Our time alone together is few and far between.  So, we made a break for it and let mom and dad take over at home.  We left the house without a plan and headed for Litchfield. I started to realize, on the way there, that I have not eaten out, only at a friend's, since Ive been sick.  I was starting to get very nervous and was thinking we should  just grab something 'to go' and head home when we saw that Arethusa Farm's La Tavola was finally open.  We have both been waiting.  So, our minds were made up.  We went into the dairy shop first and they told us we should hurry over to the restaurant because they book up every night.  Right...  It was 5pm.  So, we head over and what do you know, they are almost fully booked for the night.  Over the course of the night, they proved why.  It was fabulous.  The food presentation was amazing, combinations were delightful and the staff was over the top.  They were so gracious and respectful.  Al and I decided to change seats early into our visit.  We were seated by the front and though I had a great view of outside, I couldn't see anything going on inside the restaurant.  I was afraid someone was going to sneak up on me with our next course.  I was also afraid of setting my glass down and misjudging the edge of the table, burning the end of my sleeve on the candle, tripping on my way to the bathroom, etc...  We started dinner with a glass of Proseco, a tradition of ours, and I quickly realized that it is not as easy for me to sip out of a flute than it is a wine glass.  I also quickly realized, as I looked over the menu, that if I was going to enjoy the evening, I should not look at the prices.  So, we didn't. 

Before my main course, I decided to make a break for the restroom.  Its when I get into unfamiliar territory that I get flustered.  So, even though I thought I could see the door from the table, I asked the waitress.  She told me it was down the hall and the first door on the right.  "First door?" I confirmed.  She  offered to show me the way.  On my way there I envisioned the trip back.  I saw myself colliding with a waitress because I couldn't see her and food flying everywhere.  I was comfortable enough with our waitress, from conversing with her throughout the evening to tell her I had been sick most of the summer and this was my first time out in 6 months and it was my goal not to make a fool of myself.  She replied very matter of factly and respectfully "and we will not let you" and at that she showed me where the tiny lock button was on the inside of the restroom door and located the light switch for me. When I was ready to make my journey back to the table, I took one last deep breath and got myself ready for my solo.  But when I opened the bathroom door, there was a waitress there.  She held out her arm and said "may I walk you back to your table, maam?".  I was totally caught off guard.  I didn't know what to say.  I just grabbed on and let her lead the way.  She brought me back, put my napkin on my lap, pushed me in and said "enjoy your dinner , maam".  I told my husband then and there they we will never dine anywhere else.  I had our host send the waitress back over before we left.  I tipped her and let her know how much her gesture meant.  She admitted she does homecare too and knows when someone needs her.  I told her we would come back again and ask for her to be our waitress.  I still don't think she had any idea of how much she made my night!

   Listening to the conversation of some women next to us at the  restaurant secured my thoughts on how I want to, and how you should, live your life.  She said "Ive just given up my heart to so many people, Im just not going to do it anymore".  Wow.....Isnt that what its all about?  Putting your heart out there? You just keep doing it and, yeah, sometimes you get hurt but you just keep on doing it or you just wont be who you want to be in the end...